Posted December 11, 2012 in POSTPARTUM

Dealing With Unsolicited Baby Advice

Dealing With Unsolicited Baby Advice
Dealing With Unsolicited Baby Advice

If you are expecting a baby or you have already given birth to your bundle of joy, you may have received a lot of well wishes as well as congratulatory remarks. However you may have also received a lot of baby advice that you didn’t ask for. Although people may mean well with their advice, you on the other hand may not handle this advice well.  People usually want to give advice to new mothers because

  • They feel like anyone with a new baby needs it.
  • The natural love that people have for babies.
  • Because they love you and want to see you succeed at being a parent their way.

So what is one to do?

First step, keep an open mind. Not all unsolicited advice is full of fluff. Some of the advice you will receive are very great tips that will get you through your pregnancy, labor and/or caring of your new baby with a little more ease. You may not realize what a jewel of knowledge you may have received until you are facing a situation where a certain bit of advice may seem plausible to try.

Second step, learn how to respectfully blow off any bad advice or old wives tales that you may hear.  Such lines as:

            I’ll be sure to verify this with my health care provider at my next appointment.

            I’ll talk to my partner about it and see what they think about it.

            Thanks for offering your advice, but I don’t think it is applicable to my family.

These types of comments will put a stop to the unsolicited advice without being rude. Be sure to come up with your own as well that are more suitable to your style. Sometimes just a brief; “hmm that sounds nice” said with a smile and walk away is all that is needed as well.

         Learn to assert yourself. Sometimes people will make rude unsolicited advice.  While you do not have to stoop to their level. You can assure them that it is your baby and you know what is best for your child. Sometimes people need an awakening to the fact that they indeed are not the parent.

          Counter arguing someone with medical advice from your physician or another medical expert regarding the advice you have been given works wonders as well.  When you are armed with knowledge from an expert, it shows the other person that you are indeed knowledgeable, and you are just not an air head with a baby.

         Educate those who give you ill or dangerous advice with correct education. This can foster a warm relationship as well help those who gave you such advice to reconsider the advice that they have been given.

          Sometimes just giving someone a discouraging facial expression deters them from bombarding you with unwanted baby advice.  If someone just starts off with it, give them the look. Smiling on the other hand may start an avalanche of advice.

          Just laugh about it. This is contradictory to the last tip. However if someone has already dropped a unsolicited baby advice bomb on you. This will prevent you from snapping at them, and keep you calm as you will think of it as a joke.

         Put on a t-shirt. Some new mothers who have experienced the pain of unsolicited baby advice have decided to create clothing to deter people giving them unwanted advice.  The most popular piece of clothing being a shirt. Wearing one can help deter people from giving you advice before they even think about it, and it saves you the drama of having to come up with something to say.

       Be short in your response to the advice, and tell them you have already considered it, and may implement it. Also telling people that you will ask your baby’s pediatrician about the advice you have been given helps.

        Pick your battles. This is one tip that will be the best to apply when dealing with family members and loved ones. If they give you some advice that won’t endanger you or your baby, just suck it up and follow it for the time being, like when you are around them. I know it can be a pain, but it may be less of a pain than an embittered relationship.

        At the end of the day you might have to just be honest with the person and/or people giving you unsolicited baby advice.  You may just have to look them in the eye and firmly tell them that they can keep their advice to themselves. It may not prompt a warm response but it will get the point across.

        These are just a few of the most popular advised techniques that an expecting or new mom can use when faced with unwarranted baby advice.